Monday 15 July 2013
Friend: Who is
your wife?
Me: You have
known her for at least ten years and you asked me who is my wife.
Friend: Yes, I
know her but do you know her?
Me: Off course
I know her. I eat, talk and sleep with her every day.
Friend: OK.
Noted. Now tell me what are her strengths?
Me: What do
you mean by strengths?
Friend:
Describe your wife to me in terms of who she is in terms of her behavior, her
values, and her approach towards everyday happenings. From your description, I
should be able to recognize her.
WOW! that is
quiet a challenge.
Me: OK, give
me a day and I will get back to you.
As a trainer,
a coach and a person who studies human behavior, I cheated a little. I got my
wife to do a character profile analysis.
Me: Friend,
let me tell you about my wife.
My wife is a unique lady. She has a very humble
beginning, the third child of a very poor family. Her father died when she was
very young and as a result she had to work from the age of twelve while others
goes to school. Nevertheless through the grace of God, her life improves with time. Therefore she is grateful to God for the good things that had happened to
her. She is well aware of the fact that whatever she has now, “health, friends,
relatives, etc.” can be gone tomorrow. As such she takes pleasure to call and
visit friends who are sick, and friends she had not seen for sometime. A biblical verse that can relate to her is “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his
steadfast love endures forever.”
Friend: What else?
Me: She is also modest and
conservative as she does not project herself as the expert even in things she
is well versed in, preferring to let others lead. This can be attributed to her
mindset of not seeing herself as special.
Friend: What else?
Me: In my
opinion, her strengths of gratitude and humility as described above is
complemented, influenced and aligned with her spirituality. What it means is
that she believes in a higher purpose and she grounds her faith in the Lord
Jesus as her savior and God. She believes that this world is temporal in nature
that will ultimately end when she is reconciled with her God. Her beliefs shape
her actions that is translated into behavior and seen as her personality by her
friends and those who knows her.
Treating those
she come in contact with respect and dignity is one value she holds dear to.
Having being a hair stylist for many years she had seen the good, the bad and
the ugly displayed in the behaviors of her clients. There are many stories of
arrogance and humility, kindness and cruelty, pettiness and generosity plus
many more shades of traits and character.
On top of this
she is a forgiving person. She believe in kindness and not revenge. Despite
being treated unfairly in her youth by a relative, she had reciprocated with
kindness and not hate. I have personally witness her speaking to this
particular relative with kind words and in a demeanor befitting of a younger
person. Love and not hate is the operating word. She had loan to friends and
relatives knowing that the loan will never be repaid.
Yes, one other
attribute that I would add is her loyalty to the team. She plans her schedule
to be in line with her team. Occasionally she will bring food for her choir
members. This is not done out of obligation but of love. Irene is loyal and dedicated teammate who
does her share, working for the success of the team.
In short, six words
that sum up Irene’s character are Gratitude; Humility; Spirituality; Fairness; Forgiveness; and Teamwork.
"Character is like a tree and reputation like its
shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.
- Abraham Lincoln
"I desire so to conduct the affairs of this
administration that if at the end, when I come to lay down the reins of power,
I have lost every other friend on earth, I shall at least have one friend left,
and that friend shall be down inside me."
- Abraham Lincoln
Questions
for reflection:
1. If
you were to describe your spouse’s character, would your spouse recognize
them-self?
Cheers.
Hope to see you soon.
Papa Coaching
Visit my other blog on life and
executive coaching + retiring in bliss
