Wife and MUM 06/2012

Thursday 02 August 2012

Irene wears spectacles to correct her vision. To read she needs glasses. On raining days when she drives at night the street lights will appear as big balls of different shapes. As such, God send her a chauffer – me, the husband that doubles up as a chauffer. It is actually an interesting actiivty to drive her around. She will update her driver on the what is in the newspaper, what was covered by CCTV – the China program on Astro TV, what is her grandson learning now and the month he will be joining day school. In short, I get an education for free.

In recent months Irene has been voicing her concern over her deteriorating eye sight. She felt that her vision was getting blurred, a little like looking through a frosted glass. She then made a decision to visit an eye specialist, an ophthalmologist for a diagnosis. The doctor did a great job of testing her eye vision and checking her eyes for defects, etc. The ophthalmologist expalins that there is a clouding of her eye's natural lens. In short she has developed cataract.

The term cataract is from the Greek word cataractos, which explains water turning from clear to cloudy when the water is turbulent and running rapidly. Early Greeks attribute visual loss as due to an accumulation of this turbulent fluid or "cataracts". The doctor explains that our eye lens is made mostly of water and protein. The protein keeps the lens clear and allows light to pass through it. With age, some of the protein may clump together and start to cloud a small area of the lens. This is a cataract, and over time, it may grow to cloud more of the lens making it harder to see.

Irene check with her friends and her insurance agent for their experience and their views. She subsequently went to consult anther doctor for a second opinion. Upon further explanation from the second consultation, she decided to have the cataracts removed. She went for her cataract removal on Monday (30^th July 2012).

To prepare for surgery, she swept all the rooms in the house clean, vacuum the rooms and sofa, clean the fans and washed all the cloths. It is incredible that she was making sure the house is clean and will need little maintenace after her surgery. Being focus on resulys and do what is necessary by paying attention to small details is one of her strong points.

She identify her end goals for the week, i.e. doing as little as necessary after the surgery. Advice she gathers from her friends and confirmed by the doctor. She is really living the management rule “People who do not plan, actuall plan to fail”. Irene never went to business schools, never taken a management course but in her university of hard knocks she learned “People do not plan to fail, but they do fail to plan”. Irene do not write down her goals but she set goals in her head. She is EXCEPTIONAL as she is a goal getter. She begins with the end in mind even though she had never heard of nor read any Stephen Covey books.

Lesson for me:
What are the things you want to accomplish?
Translate them into activities /behaviors that will achieve the end goals.
Do the activities until you achieve your goals.

Cheers.
Hope to see you soon.

Papa Coaching

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wife and mum extraordinary: Lesson #1 from Grandson - Wife and MUM 05/2012

wife and mum extraordinary: Lesson #1 from Grandson - Wife and MUM 05/2012: Monday 28 February 2012 Our grandson has been with us for a year now. In a week or two from now, Benjamin will be moving to Singapore as hi...

Lesson #1 from Grandson - Wife and MUM 05/2012

Monday 28 February 2012

Our grandson has been with us for a year now. In a week or two from now, Benjamin will be moving to Singapore as his parents are relocating there. Irene will probably be lonely and worried for her grandson when he moves to Singapore. This is what life is about. Life is a cycle of changes. We are born, go to school, get a job, marry and have a family, retire from active career, spoil our grand children, then ... the cycle goes on for the next generation and the next...

I just wrote in my other blog that life is like a journey. We start our life leaving God and ends joining God again. The condition is that we live in accordance to the rules and conditions HE (GOD) had told us. When we submit to Him, He will abide with and in us. He sends His angels to look after us and protects us. Interestingly, this is one of the many lessons Irene learns from her grandson.

Lessons from Benjamin.

# 1.      God protects. Submit to God for His protection. Humans like children are incapable of fending for themselves on many occasions. God in His grace and mercy had often send us angels to guard and protect us.

The above lesson was instilled into Irene on a number of occasions. There were a number of times when Benjamin falls down on the floor. Falling down for a baby is a very normal daily event. However falling down backwards with the possibility of the back of the head knocking against sharp table edges or falling from a height can have dire consequences. On a number of occasions, when Benjamin did fall under such “dangerous” circumstance, there was either a pillow or a pile of newspaper to break his fall or someone nearby to catch him. To Irene this is the grace of God.

Sometimes we would put Benjamin on our bed. He would try to get down and when he does so, his head would face the floor. Often we would place a hand on his back to prevent him from falling off the bed. 
The lesson instilled upon us by our grandson is that 'We humans living our daily lives often do not know and see the danger that lurks behind our every move, action and activity. Just like Irene placing her hands on Benjamin’s back to prevent him falling off the bed, God in His grace and mercy had often placed His hands and diverted us from harm. 

Very often we do not know we had been delivered from harm because we do not see it. YES, the one important lesson taught us by our grandson is “Humans like children are incapable of fending for themselves. On many occasions, God in His grace and mercy had send us angels to guard and protect us”

Cheers.
Hope to see you soon.

Papa Coaching

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wife and mum extraordinary: Wife and MUM 04/2012

wife and mum extraordinary: Wife and MUM 04/2012: Monday 20 February 2012 Let me summarize what I have written to date. Attributes of a great wife: # 1. Knows her mind and not afraid...

Wife and MUM 04/2012

Monday 20 February 2012

Let me summarize what I have written to date.

Attributes of a great wife:

# 1.      Knows her mind and not afraid to be assertive. (20 Jan 2011)

# 2.      Provides Unconditioned Love. (27 Jan 2011)

# 3.      A teacher and coach who nurtures a child in the way she wants him    to be in accordance with   

            her values and beliefs. (27 Jan 2011)

# 4.      Tells Good and Interesting Stories. (3 Feb 2011)

# 5.      Believes in regular maintenance to preserve property and things in their original “goodness” and     

            does not let things deteriorate to    unbearable levels before taking remedial action. (11 Feb 2011)

# 6.      Ability to laugh at herself. (20 Feb 2011)

# 7.      Believes that God is her strength. (23 Feb 2011)

# 8.      Considerate towards one and all. (4 March 2011)

# 9.      Fuss over her husband. (12 March 2011)

# 10.    Paying attention to Details in whatever she does. (20 March 2011)

# 11.     Practice Patience.  (27 March 2011)

# 12.    Cherish the years that went by and live well the years that are left. (24 July 2011)

# 13.    Remember and Cherish you old friends.  (29 Jan 2012)

# 14.    FAMILY is more than just your spouse and children. Family includes the members of your brothers 

            and sisters family. (5 Feb 2012)

# 15.    Plan her work and work her plan. (14 Feb 2012)

It is interesting how writing down one’s thoughts can clarify one’s thinking.

My brother-in-law Mr. Damian Yoong used to quote Francis Bacon "Reading makes a full man; Conference, a ready man; and Writing an exact man." Upon reflection, Irene always pens down her thoughts whenever she needs to occasionally share in church. However, even when she is not called upon to share, she is observed to write down what catch her fancy when she reads her daily papers. That is a probably what helps to acquire the above attributes.

She gains knowledge daily which makes reflects "Reading makes a full man.." She keeps a stack of recipe for her cooking and refers to them whenever she runs out of ideas on what to cook. She may not know everything about food, but she knows where to look for the answers.

Irene likes to exchange ideas and knowledge with others. She listens and learns from them. “Conference, a ready man”.

She is a lady of details. However in my opinion she does not write enough. Nevertheless, she shows potential to be complete as in "Writing, and exact man...".

No 16 attribute of a great lady, wife and mum:  Reads daily, Conference when asked to; write occasionally.

Cheers.
Hope to see you soon.

Papa Coaching

Visit my other blog on life and executive coaching + retiring in bliss

http://liveinsignificance.wordpress.com

Visit my website www.papacoaching.com.my

Wife and MUM 03/2012

Tuesday 14 February 2012

A week ago, a mutual friend of my wife and me phone me to help him in “time management”. We sat a day to meet up. To me, it his request offers us an opportunity to catch up on what those times that had passed us by.

We met, chat about his family and what he is doing at the moment and some of areas of common interest. He has progressed in his career and is about to take on a new post as manager for logistic in his previous company. He sees this as an honour as his previous employer had invited him to help him. His concern is that his new post would demand more of his time and he is seeking on how he can manage his time more efficiently and effectively.

I took this opportunity to coach him by asking him some questions that challenged him to think about solutions to his predicament. In the process he came to realize that his children are controlling him in that there are no set boundaries of proper behaviour. Much time is spent on nagging, yelling, and bribing them to get up, wash up and prepare for school. The same routine is repeated to get them to bed. With this realization, he can move forward with approaches to handle the issue.

As for Irene – my wife – she has the innate ability/talent/strength that allows her to accomplish many things within the day. At this moment our grandson is staying with us. Irene would get up before her grandson and other member of the family is up. She will wash the cloths, put the water to boil and even make breakfast and sweep the floor some of the time.

Later in the day, she would prepare to bath her grandson while he is in the play pan playing with his toys and watching Astro Baby TV channel. In the afternoon, when her grandson is sleeping she would prepare his food and dinner. Irene’s ability to plan what she wants to do (house work) in alignment with the time available to her makes her efficient and effective.

No 13 attribute of a great wife:  Plan her work and work her plan.

Cheers.
Hope to see you soon.

Papa Coaching

Visit my other blog on life and executive coaching + retiring in bliss

http://liveinsignificance.wordpress.com

Visit my website www.papacoaching.com.my

Wife and MUM 02/2012

Sunday 05 February 2012

Today is the 14^th day of the Chinese Lunar New Year and the celebrations are ending tomorrow with 15^th marking the last day of festivity. What does New Year means to you? I wonder what the New Year means to Irene who is 61 going towards 62?

The Lunar New Year is a time for the family. But then again who is family? Yesterday, Irene invited her brother and sisters together with their own family for a gathering. Everyone brought a dish or two and together everyone had a fellowship. In all there was a plate of roast duck bought from a shop along Pudu Road famous for their roast duck and geese. There was a plate of fish cooked in red tomatoes and onions and … which was pretty tasty. Then there is the roast pork bought in Kuantan, Pahang that was really yummy at least to me. Bundle together with the other dishes the table had hardly any spaces to sit. The solution was having the members of younger generation having their dinner buffet style while the elders sat on the table. In the entire atmosphere was a joyous one where the family members’ chit chats, talk about things of the past and present. It all ended with a family photo for the memory.

 

There was no mah-jong, no karaoke no brandy and whisky but there was a sense of togetherness, of fellowship, of love.

May they have many, many, many more of such gatherings.

No 12 attribute of a great wife:  FAMILY is more than just your spouse and children. Family includes the members of your brothers and sisters family.

Cheers.
Hope to see you soon.

Visit my other blog http://liveinsignificance.wordpress.com

Visit my website www.papacoaching.com.my

Wife and MUM 01/2012

Sunday 29 January 2012

Today is the 7th day of the Chinese Lunar New Year. A new year brings with it new hopes and expectations. Initiatives, activities and actions are needed to actualize these hopes and expectations.

A new year begins with a few days of rest away from work. It's a time to celebrate. An opportune time to dine, feast and be merry with family and friends. A time to catch up on what had happened over the last 12 months with those we only meet occasionally.

Yesterday Irene met with some of her old friends in the beauty salon. An annual affair when each will bring in their favourite dish. She looks forward to such a meeting. Such a meeting is a scheduled meeting that repeats itself every year.

In the evening Irene will pick up two of her 'kampong' friends. Childhood friends she had known over the last sixty years. She had telephoned them in the morning and in the evening they will have dinner together and then probably chit chat in the house till the break of day.

Friends are important to Irene. She treasures them like she does her own family members. Her friends appreciate her sincerity as a friend and warmth as a human.

When we are young;

Our family members are our friends.

When we are away from our family;

Our friends are our family.

Cheers.
Hope to see you soon.

Papa Coaching

Visit my other blog on life and executive coaching + retiring in bliss

http://liveinsignificance.wordpress.com

Visit my website www.papacoaching.com.my